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A little boy was taken to the mall to see Santa one day
before Christmas. He sat on Santa's lap, and Santa asked,
"And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?"
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The boy said, "I want a damn swingset in the back yard!"
"You'll have to ask nicer than that," said Santa, "If you want Santa
to bring you presents. Let's try again. What else would you like?"
The boy said, "I want a damn sandbox for the side yard!"
Santa sighed in dismay and said, "That's no way to talk to Santa,
young man. I bring presents to GOOD little boys and girls! Now,
one more time. What else would you like for Christmas?"
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The boy thought about it for a minute, and then
said, "I want a damn trampoline in the front
yard!" Santa lifted the boy off his lap and
went to have a word with the boy's parents.
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He told them about their son's manners, and they asked him
if he had any ideas to stop it. "I know," said Santa. "If he
keeps that kind of language up, don't get him anything for
Christmas this year. Then, on Christmas, put a pile of dog doo
in the back yard right where he wants the swingset. Put another
pile in the side yard right where he wants the sandbox,
and another pile of it in the front yard where he wants
the trampoline. That should teach him a lesson."
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On Christmas morning the boy went downstairs to see what Santa had
brought him, and there wasn't anything under the tree. He ran out the
back door, looked around the yard, then ran around to the side yard and
looked around. Then he ran out to the front yard and looked around,
then came back inside, shaking his head and frowning.
His father asked, "What's wrong, son?"
The boy said, "Santa brought me a damn dog,
but I can't find the damn thing!"
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