You ask for high fiber candy only.
When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
You get winded from knocking on the door.
You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
When the door opens you yell,
"Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
You have to carefully choose a costume
that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
and you're not wearing a mask.
You're the only Dragon Ball Z character
in the neighborhood with a walker.
You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
You ask to use the washroom every two houses.
You lose your teeth bobbing for apples at Halloween parties.
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